I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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