He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize