haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Randomize
