JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
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