i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
