you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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