Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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