I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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