It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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