I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
