Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
