who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Randomize