god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
it's great music for shaving your balls
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize