I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
