so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
