it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
