my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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