She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
