This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
