CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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