no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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