we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
