i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
