do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I need to sanitize my soul.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
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