mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize