guys are not supposed to queef...right?
he thought i was a dude.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
