Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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