Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
