I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
