you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
