we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
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