Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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