If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
