I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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