i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
