If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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