walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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