Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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