I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
he puts the penis in happiness.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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