that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
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about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
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