I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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