it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
