Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
