i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
the room spins SO much faster in panama
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
