also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
