i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
