This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
