Already got asked if we're dating
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
