Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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