I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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