Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
