I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
