i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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