He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Randomize
