the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar