Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.