Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
