nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
