okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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