he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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