did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
