I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
