didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
